Life is full of ups and downs. When things are going well, life is great. Unfortunately, when you come upon bumps in the road, situations can become difficult to navigate. Know that you do not have to stay on the same course. There are several options to help you and your partner get back on track to a happier relationship.

Couples Counselling is well worth the time you and your partner take to attend the sessions. Regardless of whether you are new in your partnership or marriage or if you are years into your relationship, counselling is beneficial for everyone. Couples Counselling can provide you with new ways to communicate. A professional counsellor will guide you on the best practices towards mitigating negative patterns and finding new ways to handle issues. If it is appropriate to your situation, consider asking your counsellor about the benefits of both individual and family counselling in addition to couples counselling. Sometimes taking some sessions alone to work through your individual concerns and then bringing your family in for group therapy is helpful for everyone.

While you are going through counselling, take some time for stress relief. Here is a helpful video to guide you. Find something new to connect with each other. Sometimes the old activities and ways of doing things are fraught with preconceived notions and stereotyped expectations. Instead of putting yourself in a place where you may fall back into old behaviour, try something new together. Have a brainstorming session over a glass of wine while watching the sunset. Sit side-by-side instead of facing each other. Begin throwing ideas out without judgment until you both find one that sparks a unified interest. If one of you usually plans most of your activities, try to change your status quo by reassigning or agreeing on responsibilities, and tackle the endeavour together. Make planning a part of the new activity so that it does not seem like work. Once you begin your new activity together, even if you feel some discomfort as you are working through your problems and differences, pretend that you are with someone new. Try “meeting” your partner for the first time. Ask all of those first date and get-to-know-you questions. Some of the answers might surprise both of you. 

If you prefer your moments with your partner to be spontaneous rather than scheduled, that is ok. Look back on the past few years. Assess what parts of your life have been squeezed out of the way to make more room for obligations - such as your career, child-rearing responsibilities, and the list goes on. Your couple time has likely waned considerably. Enter: the calendar. Get together and schedule time together on each of your calendars or consider starting a shared calendar. When you have something scheduled as an appointment, regardless of what it is, you are more likely to adhere to your planned schedule. The concept of scheduling couple time may be the opposite of spontaneity, but you will not have any excuses to put away the dishes or do the laundry. This will be much-needed time blocked out for the task of reconnecting and enjoying your partner again.

No matter where you are in your relationship, taking time to strengthen it is always an investment in your future.