Having children is a big decision- it's undoubtedly one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make in your life. In today's world, people are waiting longer to start families than ever before- according to the Office for National Statistics, the average age of first-time mothers in the UK has been steadily increasing over the past few decades, with the current average age being thirty years old. On top of this, many couples are opting to have smaller families than they were just a few decades ago, or to forgo having children altogether, and these shifting cultural norms can have you questioning your own decision. For me, having a child has been the absolute best thing I've ever done but it's clear that the decision to have children is a deeply personal one, and is worth making with careful consideration and planning. Here are some things to think about.
Getting Ready in Your Relationship
First things first, if you're thinking about having kids, it's important to make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Are you both ready to take on the joys and challenges of parenthood? Are you in a stable place in your relationship? It's a good idea to have some serious conversations about your goals, your expectations, and your concerns. Remember that communication is key, and it's important to listen to each other's thoughts and feelings without judgement.
Being Financially Stable
Another big consideration when it comes to having kids is your finances. Let's face it, raising a child is expensive! You'll want to make sure you're in a good place financially before you take the leap. That means thinking about things like your income, your savings, and your expenses. Do you have a stable job with a steady income? Will you return to work after having your baby, or do you want to become a stay at home parent- if you do, is this affordable for you? Have you thought about how you'll pay for things like childcare, baby items and ongoing expenses? You might need to move house if your current home isn't suitable, and buy a bigger car thats possibly more expensive to run- there are lots of hidden costs to work through. It's not at all to say you need to be very well off to have a child, however it's definitely worth working out what you can afford to make sure you can provide everything you need and make sure that the life you will be living going forward financially is acceptable to you.
Emotional Readiness
Most importantly, do some self reflection to think about your emotional readiness when it comes to having kids. Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life, but it can also be incredibly challenging. Are you ready to take on the responsibility of caring for another human being? Do you feel prepared to handle the sleepless nights, the tantrums, and the constant demands on your time and energy? It's okay if you're feeling nervous or uncertain – that's normal! Just make sure you're taking the time to reflect on your feelings and make a decision that feels right for you. A baby doesn't fit in around your life, you have to adapt to them and what they need and you should go into the decision being happy and willing to do that.
Other things to Ponder
- Health considerations- It's important to consider your own health and the health of your partner before deciding to have children. You could consult with your doctor to ensure that you're physically healthy and ready to have a child.
- Support system: Consider the availability of a support system when having children. This includes family and friends who can provide emotional and practical support.
- Environmental impact: The more children a family has, the more resources they will consume and the larger their carbon footprint will be. This will be a key consideration for some people when they're making the decision to have children.
- Postpartum challenges- Postpartum can be a difficult time both physically and emotionally, consider if you're ready to face these kinds of issues in order to have a baby.
- Personal goals: Consider how having children would impact your personal goals and ambitions. While having children can be incredibly rewarding, it will probably mean you'll need to put some of your personal goals on hold at least in the short term.
In the end, the decision to have children is such a personal one that will depend on a wide range of your own personal factors. There's no one 'right' way to approach the decision but there are definitely some things to figure out and reflect on before taking the plunge if you're currently on the fence. Good luck on this exciting journey!
