Toddlers and tantrums go hand in hand- these little people certainly have some big feelings! And as an adult looking into a child's world, it can sometimes leave you baffled about just how seemingly small of an issue can become such a whirlwind of emotion complete with anger, tears and meltdowns. But it's so important to remember that children aren't mini- adults. Their brains are far from fully developed, they find it impossible to regulate their emotions and feelings until they're much older (and lets face it, even as adults we can struggle with this sometimes if we're having a bad day). Tantrums are a normal part of development and they can be frustrating and difficult for parents to deal with, but knowing what to expect and how to handle them can make a big difference. They usually start around the age of one, and can continue into the toddler years and beyond. In this blog post, we'll share some tips and strategies for dealing with toddler tantrums, including staying calm, validating your child's feelings, offering distractions, using positive reinforcement, and setting clear boundaries. By implementing these techniques, you can help your child learn to regulate their emotions and avoid tantrums in the future.
Stay Calm
When a child is upset, their brain can get stuck in a "fight or flight" response, which can make it difficult for them to calm down on their own. This is where the concept of "lending calm" comes in. Essentially, when a child is having a tantrum, they need their parent or caregiver to help them regulate their emotions and feel safe. By remaining calm and reassuring, parents can help their child's brain "borrow" their own calm energy and begin to regulate their emotions.
Validate Their Feelings
When your child is having a tantrum, it's important to validate their feelings. Let them know that you understand they're upset, and that it's okay to feel that way. Use phrases like "I know you're feeling frustrated" or "It's okay to be angry, but let's try to calm down together." Labelling their feelings so they can understand is helpful too- such as "you're feeling angry/upset/frustrated right now".
Offer a Distraction
Sometimes, offering a distraction can help shift your child's focus away from their emotions. Try suggesting a different activity they might enjoy, or ask them to come with you on a walk- even if it's just to the garden for a change of scenery and a breath of fresh air.
Identify Triggers
One way to prevent tantrums is to identify and address the triggers that may be causing them. For example, if your child tends to have tantrums when they're hungry or tired, make sure they're getting enough sleep and healthy snacks throughout the day. If your child tends to have tantrums when they're overstimulated or overwhelmed, try to create a calm and predictable environment for them.
Use Time-In Instead of Time-Out
When your child is having a tantrum, it can be tempting to use time-out as a punishment. However, some experts recommend using time-in instead. Time-in involves sitting with your child and offering comfort and support while they calm down. This approach can help your child feel heard and understood, and may prevent future tantrums.
Dealing with toddler tantrums can be a difficult task, Remember that every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Be patient, stay consistent, and most importantly, show your child love and understanding during this challenging time.
