There are a number of definitions out there for self sabotage. Some people talk about it without fully understanding what it is. One easy way to describe it is ‘undermining your own goals and values’. There are all things we’d like to achieve, and yet oftentimes, something holds us back from achieving them. It’s pretty disheartening when we realize this ‘something’ us ourselves! If you know there’s something you want because you believe/know it would be good for you, and yet you continuously do things that you know are at odds with what you want to achieve, you are self sabotaging. Depending on how aware you are of your self sabotage behaviours, they can be conscious or unconscious. Conscious is where you know what you’re doing is undermining a goal of yours in that moment, yet you do it anyway. Unconscious is where you do something that undermines a goal without realizing it until afterwards. Most people engage in self sabotage at one time or another, but some make it an unhealthy habit that they can’t seem to get out of. Here’s an idea of some of the most common forms of self sabotage:

There’s no one, universal issue that explains why we do these things. However, there are a few ways you can work to stop this pattern once and for all. 

The key to undoing self sabotage and pretty much any bad habit is to be compassionate with yourself. Understand that your self sabotaging behaviour is helping you in the moment in one way or another, whether that’s helping you to feel less stressed about work, or distracting you from relationship troubles. If you beat yourself up about what you’re doing, you could easily enter into a negative shame spiral, and things will get worse. Being kind to yourself will go a long way. Treat yourself like a friend. 

We all come up against obstacles every now and again. Figuring out what your obstacles are will help you to be more mindful when they crop up, and you’ll already have a bit of an action plan in place to help you move forward. If you’re worried you won’t be able to resist when your 20-cigarette a day friend shows up, consider visiting a vape shop in advance so you don’t end up accepting a cigarette. If you have to, it could be worth staying away from certain people and out of certain environments while you get over the hardest part. 

A pro will help you to get to the root of your problems and help you to put a plan in place. They can help you to work through those difficult feelings and realize that just because an emotion may feel bad, doesn't mean it is bad. You need to heal if you’re going to move forward. 

Take One Step At A Time You’re only human. Take everything one step at a time, and celebrate those small wins!