It can be difficult to know how to help a child who has gone through a traumatic event. Many adults feel at a loss for what to do, and children may not be able to express what they are feeling. These tips can help both the child and the adult caregivers who are supporting them.
Acknowledge the event
It's important to acknowledge that a traumatic event has occurred. This can help the child feel validated and understood. Try to avoid using euphemisms or downplaying the event. For example, in the case of a burglary, instead of saying, "the bad man broke into the house," it is better to say, "the man broke into the house."
Encourage the child to express their feelings
Children may not be able to articulate what they are feeling. Therefore, it is important to encourage them to express themselves in whatever way they feel comfortable. This could include talking, drawing, writing, or playing. Don't force the child to talk about the event if they don't want to. It is also important to respect the child's privacy and only share information with people who need to know. Some children may act out their feelings through play. This can be a normal and healthy way for them to process what has happened.
Dealing with Divorce
If the child's parents are getting divorced, it is important to help the child understand that the divorce is not their fault. The child may feel guilty or responsible in some way, so it's important to assure them that this isn't the case.It can be helpful to explain what divorce means and how it will change the family's daily routine. For example, the child may need to spend time with each parent in a different home. It is also important to reassure the child that both parents still love them and will continue to be involved in their life. A divorce solicitor can help you with any legal issues related to divorce that will make the process go more smoothly for the child.
Help the child to feel safe
After a traumatic event, it is normal for children to feel unsafe. It is important to help them understand that no physical or emotional harm will come to them. You can do this by ensuring that they have a predictable daily routine. This could include set times for meals, school, and bedtime. Having structure can help the child feel more secure.
Parents can worry that a traumatic life event can cause all kinds of ongoing issues for children, but it doesn't have to be the case if it's handled in the right way. In fact, it's the way that the trauma is handled that will have a much bigger impact on them than the event itself. Using your own emotional intelligence to stay calm, explain the situation and validate your child's feelings will ensure they recover from things unscathed.
